Saturday, November 21, 2015

White Lies: What's the Harm???

Do any of the situations below sound like you and/or your spouse/significant other? 

  • You check the mail and are pleased to find an unexpected check written to you. Rather than depositing it into your joint checking account or speaking with your spouse to determine the best use for that extra money, you simply sneak and cash the check. After all, he'd probably just want to do something stupid with it anyways! 
  • You make a trip to the grocery store and upon checking out, you reach down and grab a hand full of candy bars. While putting your groceries away, at home, you quickly grab the bag of chocolate goodness and go hide it in your closet for you to enjoy later.
  • While you're out running errands, your ex boyfriend calls to let you know he's in town. You agree to have lunch with him before you head home. Later that night, while talking to your husband, you mention the delicious pasta you had for lunch that day at the new restaurant on 6th street. When your husband asks who you had lunch with, you tell him you went with one of your girlfriends. All you did was have lunch, nothing happened, so your husband doesn't need to know about it- right? 
  •  After spending $60 having your nails done (which you, of course, paid cash for) you wad up the receipt and toss it into the trash can before walking out of the salon. That night, your husband compliments your nails. You respond with "Thanks honey, I'm learning to do them myself! Do you really think they look ok?" You're simply not in the mood for another lecture on "wasting money." 
  •  Upon arriving home from work one day, you check the caller id. You see that your mother-in-law called and left a voicemail for your husband. His Aunt Debra passed away and her services are Friday, in the next state over. You, not wanting your husband to miss the dinner reservations the 2 of you have for Friday night, quickly erase the voicemail and number from the caller id. Now hopefully she doesn't call again! 
  •  Your son is running to the store and asks if you need anything. You ask him to pick up a pack of cigarettes for you but then add "don't tell your dad." He doesn't need to know that you are now smoking 2 packs/day instead of your usual 1 1/2, he's on your case enough as it is. 

     You may be thinking that these are just "little white lies" and are "no big deal." I assure you, they are a VERY big deal. A lie is a lie, no matter how big or small it is. Small lies become big lies. Each and every lie, omission, and/or secret takes away from your relationship. They rob you of having true intimacy with your spouse/significant other. If you have done or said something that you feel the need to lie about, chances are you shouldn't be doing or saying those things in the first place. If there are lies in a relationship, whether they are big or small lies, that relationship will never be a good, happy, loving, intimate relationship. Never! Your spouse should be your best friend, there shouldn't be any secrets or lies between you.

      Don't let the devil kill your relationship with your spouse, by whispering in your ear that "one little lie won't make a difference" or "What he/she doesn't know, won't hurt him/her."
 True love = honesty, at all times & at all costs. 

"Those who think it's permissible to tell little white lies will soon grow color-blind." 

"There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction. A white lie is the blackest of all." 

"Big or small, lies are still lies." 

 "Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie and making someone smile."

P.S. Please take a moment to comment on this post and SHARE it! To share, just click on the red "share" button below or look for the gray facebook/email/pinterest/twitter/etc icons below (depending on what type of device you're on.) Thank you so very much for your support!!! =)


  1. Very good read...I shared this too.

    1. Thanks so much for reading and sharing Selena! :)

  2. Indeed, a lack of honesty can ruin the foundations of any relationship. Be it parent-child, husband-wife, friends, colleagues, etc...

    It is hard to feel safe with people who you are not able to trust.

    1. That is absolutely right! Thanks for
      Your comment! ;)

  3. Such good points and so well written. Even if we're never caught in our white lies, they still speak to some secret that we're holding, which can still undermine our intimacy. Thanks for making my reflect on my own honesty!

  4. Absolutely! Thanks so much for reading and commenting! :)